So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
