What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
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