lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So much Jack, so little girl.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize