I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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