8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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