She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
