I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
