I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
