fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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