I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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