I'm going to rape someone's good day.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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