Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
