i wish peter jackson would direct porn
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
