You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
