I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
