I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
