i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
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We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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