You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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