I'm lost and stupid without you.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
