I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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