Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
