i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
