I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
