So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
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Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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