Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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