Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
