I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
