tell your sister to shave her snatch
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
