But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
please don't ironically join a cult
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