I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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