The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
