Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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