I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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