I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
