Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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