The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
