That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
