i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
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i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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