How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
