look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
