I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
