Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
