At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize