the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm at about main and main street
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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