So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
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Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
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In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking