do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Where is the hickey?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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