I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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