You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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