Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
