His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
