You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
