we have officially lost it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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