It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
