I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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