she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
