Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
This baby is an asshole
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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