i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
well you can't waste a boner
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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